Spiritual charity and the Tales of two Seas; Baba Batra 10a and Sukka 49b

This post emerged during this summer’s stay in Israel. I heard the story from my friend Dalia, about her nephew, who got killed in a terrorist attack. In his death he donated his organs to save lives. And so he already enabled a man to regain his vision with the donated retina. I was thinking how amazing it is to be able to give to others. But in particular, I was thinking that there is no one way to give to others. People can choose to be givers in many shapes and forms.      And here is another Israeli hint for the idea of giving;      There are two lakes in Israel. One is the Dead Sea, the other is the Sea of Galilee. Both are not really seas, both receive their waters from the Jordan river. And yet, they are very, very different. The Dead Sea in the south is very high in salt. You can float and read a book at the same time! Thus, there is no life at all; no vegetation and no marine life. Hence the name: Dead Sea. The Sea of Galilee is north of the Dead Sea. It is surrounded by the rich and colorful vegetation. It is the home to over twenty different types of fishes. Sea of Galilee The Dead Sea      Same source of the Jordan river’s water, and yet one sea is full of life, the other is dead. How come? The Jordan river flows into the Sea of Galilee and then flows out so it keeps the sea healthy and vibrant, allowing marine life to exist. But the Dead Sea is below the mean sea level, and has no outlet for its water. The water flows in from the Jordan river, but does not flow out. Thus, unfit for any marine life.      There are the Givers and the Takers. And in Judaism, giving charity is an obligation. In the Bavli Talmud we fine dozens of texts about this obligation. They say that charity, or in Hebrew - Tzedakah, is the most important commandment to fulfill. For example, we read in Baba Batra 10a the following: "R. Yehudah says: Ten strong things have been created in the world. The rock is hard, but the iron cleaves it. The iron is hard, but the fire softens it. The fire is hard, but the water quenches it. The water is strong, but the clouds bear it. The clouds are strong, but the wind scatters them. The wind is strong, but the body bears it. The body is strong, but fear crushes it. Fear is strong, but wine banishes it. Wine is strong, but sleep works it off. Death is stronger than all, but charity saves from death, as it is written, Righteousness [tzedakah] delivers from death (Proverbs 10:2; 11:4)."       If you are like me, who was taught that “Tzaddaka” is giving money to the poor or to other worthy causes, we are missing the point. Most often we think that giving relates to how much money one gives away. That if we donate to charity with a check, we are Givers. And if we do not have the means of money, we are out of the box of Giving. However, being generous is far more than a money issue. It is a code of behavior that requires generosity from the heart, the sharing of personal time, energy, talent, wisdom, love, compassion and many other resources. The act of charity also includes visiting the sick, burying the dead, and dealing justly with others.      The classic ethical work of “Orchot Tzadikim” – [Ways of the Righteous], written in Germany in the 15th century, liberates us from this conditional relationship between charity and money. Three categories of giving with generosity are listed: giving of one's wealth, giving of oneself physically by being present to others in need, and giving of one's wisdom. The last two are types of giving that money cannot buy.      The giving from our spirit of compassion and love, is the emotional quality of giving which is commonly referred to as Gemilut hasadim- deeds of loving-kindness. Investing from your own energy builds relationship, which does not depends on giving money to the poor. In Sukka 49b we read: "R. Elazar further stated: Acts of loving-kindness (Gemilut hasadim) are greater than charity (Tzedakah), for it is said, “Sow to yourselves according to your charity (Tzedakah), but reap according to your hesed (kindness)” (Hosea 10:12); when one sows, it is doubtful whether he will eat [the harvest] or not, but when one reaps, he will certainly eat. Our rabbis taught: In three respects Gemilut hasadim is superior to charity: charity can be done only with one’s money, but Gemilut hasadim can be done with one’s person and one’s money. Charity can be given only to the poor, but Gemilut hasadim both to the rich and the poor. Charity can be given to the living only, Gemilut hasadim can be done both to the living and to the dead."        Have you considered visiting the sick as giving? Or, supporting someone by just listening to them without trying to fix them? Could we imagine that a smile, a recognition of someone with words could also be acts of giving? Bava Batra 9b affirms that our presence could lift one’s spirits at times of despair and sustains the recipient at least as much as any donation; "Someone who gives a coin to the poor will be blessed with six blessings, whereas the one who addresses him with words of comfort will be blessed with eleven blessings (even if he does not give him a donation)."      Ketubos 111b also mentions that even a smile alone could be as important as a physical donation: "The congregation of Israel says to the Almighty: 'Master of the Universe, wink to me with Your eyes for that exhilarates me more than wine and smile at me with Your teeth for that is sweeter to me than milk." The Talmud continues and says this is proof to what Rabbi Yochanan said, "Better is the one who shows the white of his teeth (in a smile) to his friend, than the one who gives him milk to drink."      I think that each one of us were, one time or another, the Giver of many versions, like the Sea of Galilee, where it enriched our lives with the sense of a moral fulfillment. And also being the Taker, where it left us spiritually empty. How do you see yourself today? Are you the Sea of Galilee or the Dead Sea?      Let’s not be like the Dead Sea. May we recall the joy we get when giving and what healing it can provide because the act giving from the heart makes a difference in people’s life.

Avodah Zarah 17a: A farting prostitute and recovery from an addiction

      There are many who recognize that their destructive tendencies and addictions were wrong and hurtful to themselves and their families. If there is a realization that emotional, psychological and behavioral changes are needed, it is also quickly realized how difficult and challenging it is to make personal transitions. Many questions come up and I can think of a few right now - how does one cope with uncontrolled addictions, what could have stimulated a shift in consciousness to take action for change, and who are the people that could be reliable for support during times of change.

     Here, in Avodah zarah 17a, is a strange story about Rabbi Elazar ben Dordia, who in his addiction to sex with prostitutes has been challenged and provoked by the prostitute herself; he experienced a moment of ‘enlightenment’ during a sexual act and decided to change his behavior. He did not go on the 12 step program. He did not seem to have a support group that would help him recover from his uncontrolled behavior, nor did he hesitate to talk to God. It was a prostitute that was the catalyst for his redemption. It was the most unexpected way for someone to realize his wrong doing. What was it like for Rabbi Elazar to be confronted with his own so-called evil inclination?

They say concerning Rabbi Elazar ben Dordia that he did not neglect a single prostitute in the world with whom he did not have sexual relations. One time he heard that there was a certain prostitute in one of the overseas towns, and her fee was a whole bag of dinars. He took a bag of dinars and went for her sake and crossed seven rivers. At the time that he was with her, she farted and saying, “Just as this fart will never return to its original place, so too, Elazar ben Dordia will never be able to repent.”

     Right from the beginning of the story we face challenges, especially as the rabbis here illuminate a ‘male problem’ that existed at these Talmudic times. Crossing a river is a symbol in Rabbinic Judaism for going against the tide. Rabbi Elazar was so obsessed with being with a prostitute, that nothing could stop him. He was able to gather the tremendous resources for this experience, but questions should be asked; who is this man and why couldn’t he control his sexual desires while we learn that Torah study is supposed to suppress these libido urges.

     And here comes my second post (see my previous post) showing how a prostitute generates a positive attitude from the rabbis, despite of their male oriented perspective. They seem to look past the profession of this women and elevate her by giving her the power to bring forth a correction to the life of Rabbi Elazar. Another example of a woman who gets a positive spotlight is Rahav the prostitute from the book of Joshua 2:1-4. The Talmud in Tractate Zevachim 116b describes her as one who “There was no prince or ruler who had not slept with Rahab the prostitute”. She also gets rewarded in spite of her low social status because she hid the spies in her home.

     This woman in Avodah Zarah 17a is a smart woman who does not hesitate to rebuke a man who she never met before. For someone who is used to give away her body with no emotional attachment she now gives away her inner spiritual wisdom. Interesting is the fact that she is not embarrassed by her flatulence and uses it as a teaching moment. The sexual excitement becomes an illusion and a fart with a rebuke become the turning point for Rabbi Elazar. The erotic ambiance is disrupted and becomes a taboo and a boundary for him. From now on there is no way for him to enter his world of fantasy and illusion. But how could she know or understand that Rabbi Elazar is actually sinning by being with her? How does she know about repentance? Is she also a very intuitive person or a medium for divine intervention?

The Gemarah continues:

He went and sat himself down between two mountains and hills, and he said, “Mountains and hills, seek mercy on my behalf.” They said to him, “Before we seek mercy for you, we have to seek mercy for ourselves: ‘For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed’ (Isa. 54:10).” He said, “Heaven and earth, seek mercy for me.” They said to him, “Before we seek mercy for you, we have to seek mercy for ourselves: ‘the Heavens shall vanish away like smoke, and the earth shall wax old like a garment’ (Isa. 51:6).” He said, “Sun and moon, seek mercy for me.” They said to him, “Before we seek mercy for you, we have to seek mercy for ourselves: ‘Then the moon shall be confounded and the sun ashamed’ (Isa. 24:23).” He said, “Stars and constellations, seek mercy for me.” They said to him, “Before we seek mercy for you, we have to seek mercy for ourselves: ‘All the hosts of Heaven shall molder away’ (Isa. 34:4).” He said, “The matter depends only on me.” He put his head between his knees and he wept a mighty weeping until his soul expired. A voice from heaven was heard proclaiming: “R. Eleazar ben Dordia is destined for life of the world to come.”

     The main theme in this part of the story is Rabbi Elazar’s transformation. He is aware of his sins and acknowledges them. At first, he is totally lost and has no trust in himself to make the change. Only after realizing that there is no one out there to support him, he turns to his own inner self. The sad part of all of this that he physically dies even after his pure intention to repent. The rabbis explain that his death is a result of his inability to control his sexual addiction, so that he is like an idol worshipper, and idolatry is a sin that can never be redeemed. (According to Tractate Sanhedrin74a, murder, incest and idolatry are sins that it is better to suffer or die for rather than transgress).

     Really? Doesn’t a sincere intention count? Would anyone even want to try to change ones behavior knowing that failure is inevitable? I can only imagine how lonely this man must have felt. On the other hand, maybe Rabbi Ealazar's reaching out to God (by asking nature to help) and bringing God to his heart were the healing tools for this situation to strengthen him. If we look at Step Three in the 12-step program--turning one's life and one's will over to God, (although seems more "Christian" than Jewish), Torah, Psalms, and rabbinic literature all stress the concept of surrender to God's will.

     To me, the physical death of Rabbi Elazar in this world and his redemption in the World to come are the symbols of a spiritual revival, from this material world to the spiritual world. While in this world his death is a symbol for the completion of his sinning identity, his reward in the next world is the symbol for his new identity as a recovered person. And the tools that he used to merit this award are his prayers and meditations.

     There are no easy formulas to give to people that are fighting addiction. It is a tough personal journey which requires strong faith, a connection to God and pure intention. And how do a fart, a prostitute and addiction connect in this story it is for you to explore further.

Menachot 44a: Redemption for a prostitute because of Tzitzit ?

My previous post elicited interesting responses. There were colleagues who rejected my premise that sages might have gone to prostitutes – saying for example - “To suggest, without a supporting frame of reference, that in these cases they were involved in an antithetical activity is the same thing as suggesting that they rode into town on pink elephants.”. Or, another asked me why am I ‘obsessed’ with sex outside of the marriage, neglecting the fact that I have many blog posts that deal with many other real life issues.

I do not mean to conclude whether sages of the Talmud did or did not go to prostitutes. But there are some relevant issues that I like to consider - (a) prostitution existed during all ages since antiquity and indeed, there are many anecdotes about prostitutes in the Talmud, (b) Talmud deals extensively with male sexual inclinations and how to possibly take actions to control these urges, and (c) there is not a clear halakhic prohibition or punishment for a male Jew to have sexual relations with a prostitute in the Talmud. 

I do not think that our society today is different.

By association, the latest news about allowing female students to don tefillin during the Morning Prayer services at school stimulated me to present another Talmudic treasure. My post is not going to deal with this controversy, but rather it will deal with the symbol of Tzitzit in the men’s world at the time of Talmud.

In Menachot 44a, we find the story of an unnamed young student who went to a prostitute but was distracted from sinning with her. His Tzitzit protected him and he was rewarded by marrying this prostitute after she decided to convert to Judaism.

It was taught: R. Nathan said: There is not a single commandment written in the Torah, even the lightest, whose reward is not enjoyed in this world; and as to its reward in the world to come I do not know how great it is. Go and learn this from the commandment of Tzitzit (fringes).

Once there was a man, who was very careful about the commandment of Tzitzit. He heard about a certain harlot in one of the towns by the sea who charged a fee of four hundred gold coins for her hire. He sent her four hundred gold coins [in advance] and scheduled a time [to meet her]. When his time arrived he came and sat at her door step. The harlot’s maid told her: “The man who sent you four hundred gold coins is here and is waiting at the door”; to which the harlot replied “Let him come in”. He came in.

This student must have prepared for his visit to a prostitute for a long time. He saved a VERY big sum of money, which equals to more than 5 times the sum he would have had to pay for his wife at the wedding ceremony (200 zuz for the Jewish marriage contract-Ketubah). He also chose a prostitute that is of a high rank in her profession, and obviously, he had to take time off from studying Torah and travel great distances to reach her. I wonder why he could not contain his desire. After all, Torah study was supposed to be a way to help channel libido.

The harlot prepared for him seven beds, six of silver and one of gold; and between one bed and the other there were steps of silver, but the last were of gold. She then went up to the top bed and sat upon it naked. He too went up and sat naked next to her, when [all of a sudden] the four fringes (Tzitzit) of his garment struck him across the face; he slipped off the bed and fell upon the ground. She also [let herself fall] and sat upon the ground.

So far, the prostitute is getting the spotlight. She owns gold and silver and is not easily accessible. The student had to clime 7 beds in order to be able to get closer to her. And here comes the accident -- all of the sudden he was slapped by the fringes. It is not clear what exactly happened but a supernatural force entered the picture. More amazing is the combination of the role of the Tzitzit juxtaposition prostitution. And if it is not ironic that the student was saved from sinning by his fringes, the same ones that any Jewish woman cannot wear. If they are his identity, what was her sign of identity?

She said to him; “By the Roman Capitol (A form of oath. According to Rashi: By the head of Rome, referring to the Emperor), I will not leave until you tell me what blemish you saw in me.” He replied: “By the Temple (the service of the Temple), never have I seen a woman as beautiful as you are; but there is one commandment which God has commanded us, that is called Tzitzit, and with regard to it the expression “I am the Lord your God” is written twice, signifying, I am He who will exact punishment in the future and I am He who will give reward in the future. The Tzitzit appeared to me as four witnesses”.

She said; I will not let you go until you tell me your name, the name of your town, the name of your teacher, and the name of your school in which you study the Torah.” He wrote all this down and handed it to her. Thereupon she arose and divided her estate into three parts; one third for the kingdom, one third to be distributed among the poor, and one third she took with her in her hand; the bed linen she kept.

Interesting conversation. It is amazing how this prostitute treats a young Jewish man with such compassion and respect. She sits on the floor with him naked and wants to get to know him. Both are almost equal. She is a real person with feeling.

She [then] came to the house of study of Rabbi Chiyya, and said to him, ‘Master, give instructions that they may make me a convert’. ‘My daughter’, he replied; ‘perhaps you have set your eyes on one of my students?’ She thereupon took out the paper and handed it to him. ‘Go’, said he ‘and enjoy your acquisition’…

Those very bed-linen which she had spread for the student for an illicit purpose she now spread out for him lawfully.

This was his reward in this world. And as far as the reward in the world to come, I do not know."

R. Natan tells us that this prostitute apparently was so impressed with this man’s faith that she gave up her career and powerful social status, converted to Judaism and later married this man. In addition, note how Rabbi Hiyya was not even shocked; on the contrary, he was prepared to accept the prostitute as a convert and to reward his student by sanctifying their marriage.

If this story is supposed to be about self-control it tells us that in order to control our temptations we need more than just will power. We need external articles that can serve us as reminders. In many ways, I feel a bit liberated to think that I can be controlled by an “alarm clock” that is meaningful to me at times when my will power fails. But, is it really the message of this story? If the point of this story of R. Natan is that Tzitzit are a protection against sin and immoral temptations, how come this student could not avoid going there to begin with? And lastly, why did the rabbis feel that they had to redeem this woman?


©Rabbi Ziona Zelazo